so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
BRING THE BAGELS
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
Randomize
