I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
