he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Randomize
