You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
