3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
