"it" just moved
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
