so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
