you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
