I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Randomize
