i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Randomize
