at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
So here I am, sexting at work.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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