actually, I'm a sock model
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
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