no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
