Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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