She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
