We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Randomize
