Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
