Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
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