is your mom at the bar?
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
