I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize
