U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
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