trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
