plz talk dirty to me
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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