I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
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