he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
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