P.S. I can't hear my feet
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
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