I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Randomize
