I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize