hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
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