What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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