I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
