How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
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