Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
