forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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