i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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