Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Randomize
