drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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