I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
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