I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I wish i was in the wii world.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
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