I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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