we have officially lost it.
"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
oh god the rape fog is back!
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
