When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Randomize