she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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