Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
