How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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