Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
