You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Randomize
