Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Randomize
