dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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