His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
