i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
