you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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