i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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