And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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