Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Randomize
