That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize