I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
