I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
I know her cup size but not her name....
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