He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
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