remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
