It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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