he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Randomize
