there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
