we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
