i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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