Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
