I want to have your abortion
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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