omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
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