Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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