I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
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